


Reasons Yuuri Katsuki Doesn't Get Paid Enough

by SkeletonKey



Series: #skateguardswag [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Awkwardness, Ice Guard AU, M/M, Multi, Romance, Skate Guard AU, What the hell am I doing?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-09-03 05:17:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8698531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkeletonKey/pseuds/SkeletonKey
Summary: 1. Having to yell at kids for skating like idiots2. Explaining to parents of said kids why they were kicked off the ice3. The horrifying smell of Phichit's feet4. Victor Nikiforov almost decapitating a 12 year old In which Yuuri works as an Ice Guard with Phichit, and Victor is the stupidly attractive figure skater who tries to practice flying camels in the middle of crowded public sessions.





	1. Shake It Off

"I need skates."

"Alright, I'm going to need your shoes, your size, and what type of skate." The kid leaning on the counter looked at Yuuri like he was some kind of idiot.

"Thirteens." He turned back to his friends with a smirk, only for one of them to bump him with a shoulder.

"No way man, you wear thirteens? Holy shit your feet are huge!"

"What kind of skate do you want?" The kid looked back to the counter, a slightly annoyed look on his face as he rolled his eyes.

"Hockey skates, don't want no pussy skates!"

‘ _How would you like for me to vomit on you instead?’_ The kid had already turned back to his pals, going on about how hockey skates were so much better than figure skates. He obviously had no idea that these skates were older that Yuuri and him combined, and probably hadn't been sharpened since before he learned to talk.

  
“I still need your shoes.”

  
\----

  
“Phichit I'm quitting.”

  
“Yuuri you say that every week, and look, you're still here, every week.” Yuri spun in his chair to glare at his best friend. Grabbing a gummy bear he threw it at Phichit as he reclined in Satan’s Chair across the room, his feet propped up on the counter as he tilted the already warped metal back dangerously far. The bear flew past him and rolled to a stop against the shelf of kid’s skates.

  
Phichit’s dark hair flopped into his eyes as he leaned down to inspect the candy corpse. “... That was a waste, what did that poor bear ever do to you?”

  
“Convince me that this job was a fair trade for free ice time.”

  
“You have nobody to blame for that but yourself Yuri, I probably wouldn't have gotten this job if you hadn't worked here already.”

  
“Phichit, you wouldn't have come to _Japan_ if I hadn't _lived_ here already, I'm the only person you know in this country.” Phichit wasn't listening, and had somehow already pulled out his phone and ended up crouched down next to Yuuri’s chair.

  
“Now c’mon Yuuri, smile! #Skateguardswag.” Yuuri could only sigh in exasperation and try to squirm out of frame, but Phichit flinging an arm around his shoulders stopped his futile struggles before he could even start trying.

  
The squeak of the door opening got Phichit away from him, but not before the younger man could take at least 100 unflattering pictures of his best friend.

  
With an exasperated groan Yuuko flopped down in the only remaining swivel chair, her feet dragging on the ground as she slowly spun to face them.

  
“By Minako’s count, there are 300 people here, not counting the birthday party.” She opened her eyes and fixed them both with  
a scolding look. “You were supposed to be out there by now, they're not cutting the ice, oh, and Minami is here again Yuuri.” Here she was interrupted by a fit of giggles from Phichit.

  
“You're his idol Yuuri, please just take a half hour and listen to him gush!” Yuri groaned as he stood up, grabbing the bright red jacket from the back of his chair and pulled on the swishy material with a groan.

  
“I just, don't want him to talk to me, about me? I don't think I'm worth talking about, and I'm _not_.”

  
Phichit laughed as he brushed past his embarrassed friend, the white letters on the back of his jacket standing out against the red clearly.

  
“Dude he idolizes you, and I'm not going to kick him off the ice for being annoying.”

  
‘ _Hasn't stopped you before,’_ Yuuri thought with a wince as he left the relative safety of skate rental for the screaming hordes of children and pre-pubescent idiots.

_  
‘At least we don't have to wear helmets.’_


	2. Hey Bartender

“I know you have to be 16 to be an ice guard and I just turned 17 in August so I could totally apply if there was an opening and I thought you said that there was going to be an opening because Christophe was quitting but he’s still working here and I’m glad you’re still working here because you’re just the coolest and I really want to work with you next season!”

 

Yuuri blinked rapidly, his face turning as red as his jacket in reaction to Minami’s non-stop attempts at conversation. Pulling his scarf up over his chin and shoving his hands into his jacket pockets couldn’t hide him from the younger boy forever, if even for a single moment.

 

“I missed coming to the evening sessions, I haven’t been here all summer even though the arena is open all summer because I was on vacation and I went to camp. I remembered you talking about going to Europe before, I wish we had gone to Europe on vacation all we did was-” Minami’s dyed red hair bounced up and down along with the rest of his short body as the two of them circled the crowded ice aimlessly, weaving in and out of teenagers, toddlers, and young couples. Yuuri couldn’t see anyone he recognized, though at one point he saw Leo removing his earbuds with a wince as Phichit chased him around for what was probably the fiftieth time.

 

Unfortunately, no matter how many times Taylor Swift played per night, you still weren't allowed to wear headphones. Because god forbid a toddler falls over and you can’t hear their piercing screams through the endless repetitions of ‘Shake it Off’ and said toddler’s parents cursing you out for not saving their child’s butt from touching the ice.

 

Spying an escape from Minami’s constant jabber, Yuuri carefully made his way over to the wall where Phichit was leaning. In the doorway next to him, Guang-Hong sans-skates was nursing a hot chocolate in his mittened hands.

 

“So, how’s it going?” he asked looking up at them, Yuuri and Phichit’s skates giving them an unfair height advantage over their already short and slender coworker. “Anything exciting happen?”

 

“Do you count your boyfriend almost running over that annoying hockey kid as something exciting?” Phichit asked with a grin.

 

“Be more specific about the hockey player.” Then Guang-Hong flushed red and sent a glare at the older boy. “And he’s not my boyfriend, he’s just a cool person I know... who doesn’t ever talk to me outside of this building.”

 

“It doesn’t help that you don’t talk to him either dude.” Phichit stated, making a grab for the hot chocolate and failing as Guang-Hong moved it out of his reach. “How about you Yuuri? Has Minami confessed his lifelong goal to be just like you?”

 

Yuuri scowled and pulled his scarf up higher, “You know he has.” Trying to change the subject he turned to the only one of them not wearing skates. “So, why are you out here, and not in skate rental?”

 

His question was met with a groan and a slump of the shoulders. “I’m pretty sure Christophe is trying to get that new cop’s schedule. I think I know why, and I really wish I didn’t.”

 

Phichit’s grin was blinding as he leaned over to whisper to Yuuri, “Chris wants to bang the new cop. He’s never actually met him, but apparently he stopped by last week while we were on the ice to yell at those kids for beating each other up in the locker room, and it was ‘lust at first sight’ for Chris.”

 

“Oh god no.” Yuuri turned to the ice and ran a hand through his dark hair. “The last thing we need is for Chris to actually try working, we were getting along just fine with the rhythm we have now!”

 

“That may be the last thing you need, but my twitter feed has been disgustingly free of any news at all since Yuuko got the Lead position and I took her cubby before Chris could, even though Mila was supposed to get it when she started.”

 

Guang-Hong slurped at his steaming drink as he turned away from the ice, waving his free hand in their general direction. “I guess I’d better head back in, Mila doesn’t deserve to deal with the rush alone.”

 

Yuuri furrowed his brows as Phichit shut the boards door. “Do you think Chis actually left Mila alone on her second night session ever, or is he just not counting Chris as working.”

 

Shrugging, Phichit pushed off from the wall, with Yuuri following close behind. “I honestly don’t know which would be the worse situation, but he probably means the second.”

 

Yuuri flinched at a short piercing scream, only to turn and be met with a group of pre-teen boys spraying snow all over some girls clinging to the wall. “At least there is only that one party tomorrow afternoon, and no hockey practice before tomorrow night’s session.”

 

“At least it’s not that church group,” Phichit began as they headed off towards the troublemakers, “I couldn’t believe it when they all got off the ice to pray, I felt like someone was playing a weird prank on me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter titles are songs that play nonstop at my local ice arena and i want them to die in the burning depth of hell.
> 
> Also Victor should be in the next chapter but idk dudes finals are coming up


	3. Hello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which beauty has a face and Yuuri is like 'damn son that is in fact a real face'

Oh my god he's beautiful

  
“I'm torn between wanting him to need skates so I can just bask in his gorgeousness, or wanting him to leave so I can dream about him for the rest of my life.”

  
Yuuri peered around the corner of skate rental and across the sea of screaming children at the most beautiful person he had ever seen. The adonis had soft looking silver hair that contrasted the fact that he was maybe 30 at the very latest. He was tall and even Yuuri, who was pretty much blind, could see the faint outline of muscles through his tight long sleeved shirt and _yep I'm drooling._

  
_Could he be anymore perfect?_ Yuuri was snapped out of his stupor when the attractive man _fucking shit he's even graceful when he runs_  jumped up and jogged over to the glass doors as an old man walked up the stairs to the front of the building. The older man turned and yelled something. As he exited the building, an adorable fluffy brown dog ran into view and launched itself onto the hot guy, drawing a gorgeous smile to his face deargodimpregnant.

  
“Oh god… he has to be your soulmate, his dog looks just like your dog.” Phichit clasped his hands together as if praying and looked solemnly upwards, “May he forever chase cats in dog heaven.”

With a brief smile at his friend Yuuri turned back to the beautiful image of the man laughing with his dog, while the old man stood beside him and muttered to himself. It was like a scene from a silent movie, and Yuuri could only imagine Mr. Perfect's  laugh being like drowning in pools of the richest dark chocolate _hngggg_.

  
“ _Wait_ … Yuuri, you can't marry this guy, he has gold blades.” Yuuri looked over to where the man’s coat and bag was sitting on one of the benches, the gleam of gold catching his attention.

  
“I- I'm... Shut up!” Spluttering, Yuuri turned around and raised his hands defensively. Sitting behind the amused Phichit, Yuuko was drawing up the assignment sheet.

  
“Yuuko who's skating first?” Ignoring Phichit’s grumbled, ' _Nice deflection nerd,’_ he peered over his supervisors shoulder only to see the unfortunate situation of the list having him skating first.

  
“Yuuri, you're on the ice. You too Phichit. Mila called in sick, must've caught something from one of the kids last night and Chris requested off weeks ago, so it's only the four of us today.” Her sweet smile quickly morphed into a threatening glare. “Don't cause trouble or I'll put you on trash duty forever.”

  
A moment passed before she groaned and threw her head back, a hand over her eyes, “I forgot you people actually like trash duty. Whatever just do your jobs or I'll have you helping Minako stamp hands for a month.”

  
Eyes wide in terror, the two of them nodded furiously at her request. Yuuri grabbed his skates out of his cubby under the counter, but not before throwing one last mournful look to where the gorgeous man was outside petting ‘his’ dog. With a sigh of despair, he sat down and started tying his skates.

  
\---

  
He was so beautiful, oh god who even cares about controlling their arms on a public session? Apparently Mr. Gorgeous does, “He HAD to have done figures, or had a coach who did figures, because that was the most perfect loop I've ever seen.”

  
“Yuuri… I thought loops were a kind of jump?”

  
“There's loop jumps and _loops_ , there's a difference…”

  
“Pfft, apparently.”

  
Yuuri could watch him skate forever, he was just warming up by the look of it, but it was enough for him to almost start drooling.

  
“Oh god Madame Tightpants is here.” _Oh no._

  
Madame Tightpants, real name unknown, was a middle aged blonde woman who came to _every single_  Saturday afternoon public session with her hockey playing son, and practiced mediocre waltz jumps and one foot spins in her impossibly tight jeans. These jeans were so ridiculously tight, that when she put her phone in her waistband or back pocket, it would squeeze itself out and fly across the ice. Her incredibly lazy stretches where she basically lounged on the boards with one leg slung across them didn’t help the situation. Teenage boys would gawk and parents would glare at the flattest ass ever to grace ICe Castle Hatsetsu.

  
And she just happened to be skating over to Mr. Perfect.

  
“Oh god I can't look,” Yuuri buried his face in his hands, spreading his fingers apart enough to see the ice moving beneath him. “Phichit tell me she's not flirting with him, tell me _he's_ not flirting with _her_!”

  
“How dare she flirt with him! Her son is out here somewhere!” Phichit grabbed Yuuri’s elbow to pull him across the ice toward the Zamboni doors. “Wait… Yuuri you can look he's skating away!”

  
Yuuri’s head flew up, eyes locking onto the silver haired figure as he continued stroking away from Madame Tightpants, before suddenly doing a mohawk into some backwards crossovers.

  
‘ _What is he…’_ Yuuri’s heart sank as he saw Madame Tightpants’ eyes locked on Mr. Perfect as well.

  
“He's either showing her how to skate, or _showing off_ how to skate…” He muttered as the man began a series of rapid three turns, “And I'm not sure which is worse.”

  
Mr. Perfect did one last right three turn before stepping forward into a spin.

  
As if in slow motion, Yuuri saw him bring his right leg up as he jumped off of his left. His right leg swung downwards as his left rotated back and up, straight into the face of a little freckled girl. The girl’s eyes widened, and she did as all children do when they are absolutely terrified and wearing ice skates, fall straight down onto her butt.

  
The golden blade whipped right over her falling form and up into a gorgeous back camel spin. And the girl crawled backwards away from the whirling blades.

  
“What the fuck man?” Phichit breathed out, but Yuuri barely heard him.

  
“Hey, mister pffff-” he cut himself off before yelling out his internal nickname for the man.

  
“HEY!” His yell reached the man as he exited his spin and he twisted toward the source of the angry voice.

  
_And their eyes met._

_  
‘Ohmygosh his eyes are gorgeous!!!’_

  
“What the heck man! You almost chopped off that girl's head?” Yuuri had never been more thankful for Phichit in that moment, because he was too busy dreaming about ice blue eyes.

  
“Oh I'm sorry, I did not see her there.” Yuuri was jolted out of his dream state when a voice like silver and Russian winter winds blew through his mind. _Since when have I been a poet?_ But Yuuri could probably dedicate volumes of poetry to the perfect man with the gorgeous hair and eyes and accent and voice and _existence_. He had pretty much written one in his head already. The way he _moved_ , like a god come to walk amongst the mortals, weaving and dancing through crowds and the entire world made better basking in his seemingly effortless glory. Yet he would remain oblivious, a perfect statue of ice and marble given life, _hngggggg_

  
“Dude you still with me?” Yuuri blinked to see his friend standing in front of him, a concerned look on his tan face. Phichit was great at the little things, like snapping him out of fantasies at work.

  
“Yeah.. Yeah I'm fine.” Shaking his head minutely to clear it from daydreams of gorgeous ice princes, he looked around the ice, only to see a lack of very attractive men. “Uh, where did that one guy go?”

  
Phichit raised an eyebrow in surprise, which was never a good sign with him, “Dude, I just kicked him off the ice, are you sure you're feeling okay?”

 

What?

  
What.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol I hate myself, thanks for all the comments and kudos everyone!!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧


	4. Hotline Bling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Yuuri meets the man of his dreams and is actually awake for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta read by someone whose dad is named Victor so I just made her uncomfortable. 
> 
> Sorry this is late(???) I have no excuse

_Stop stalling Yuuri, you can't make this go away._ Yuuri could just ignore the hot man and pretend that this whole thing had never happened, but he felt that he needed to say something. I mean, it wasn't everyday that a literal perfect human specimen showed up at your job and _made eye contact with you_. And because of that, and the fact that Yuuri would probably never see the man again, he felt he should leave the paragon of human beauty with a good memory of the ice arena… and him by extension, but mostly the arena.

 

“Deep slow breaths,” he whispered to himself as he peered out from around the wall that led to the bathrooms, his secondary go to place for anxiety attacks and hiding from people.

 

“You can do this.”

 

_No you can't._

 

Squaring his shoulders and squeezing his fingers into fists, he rushed out of the hallway and made his way across the lobby to where the man sat, wiping off his skates.

 

“Hi um.. Excuse me?”

 

“Yes?” _Keep it together Yuuri, he's just gorgeous. Hnnng..._

 

“I uh.. I wanted to apologize for my coworker, you see, he wasn't supposed to kick you off the ice without giving you two warnings first.” Looking up slightly he accidentally met the man’s blue gaze and quickly ripped his eyes away.

 

“We are supposed to give you those two warnings before making you get off the ice,” Yuuri was rambling now, but he couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth, “but I guess he was just a little freaked out because you almost stabbed a kid in the face and I just came over to apologize for that and to let you know that you can get back on the ice if you wanted, since there's almost an hour and a half left and you haven't taken your skates off yet.” He bit his bottom lip and stared at the floor, his guards making soft clicking noises when he shifted his weight, “just no more flying camels please…”

 

Silence stretched between the two of them as he trailed off, and Yuuri was beating himself up inside over his nonstop monologue to this man who probably thought him a complete idiot. Maybe he could just… Die? That would be better than suffering through more silence.

 

“I think I can do that.” The teasing lilt to his smooth voice made Yuuri’s head snap up, only to meet crystal blue eyes that gleamed with a tinge of good natured amusement.

 

Yuuri let a soft laugh escape him before giving the man a small smile. “That's um… That's good to hear.” He stood there for a moment, the two of them exchanging soft smiles. The screaming kids in the background seemed to fade into the distance as the moment went on. It did not drag on, Yuuri was positive of that small fact, it just seemed to linger gently between the two of them.

 

“I uh...” Yuuri snapped himself out of his daze and fidgeted nervously, glancing toward to doors that led to the ice, “I should get get back to work…”

 

“Victor, and you are?” Yuuri hadn't been waiting for an introduction from the stran- Victor… _Victor, what a gorgeous name…_

 

“Yuuri Katsuki.”

 

“ _Yuuuri_ ,” he felt faint having his name spoken by such a smooth voice, the vowels drawn out like pulling apart a gooey chocolate chip cookie. “It was nice meeting you Yuuri.” _Hnnng_.

 

“Yeah,” he stood there for a long moment staring into Victor’s eyes, before realizing he had left him hanging, “Just don't go decapitating any children alright?”

 

_That was pathetic._

 

_“_ I will not be doing that to any more children.”

 

_Wait what?_

 

“Wait wha-” Yuuri trailed off seeing the smirk on Victor’s handsome face, and gave a small laugh. _Hnng... fuck me._

 

“Gosh okay…” You _just said gosh... what the hell Katsuki?_ “I mean, uh… Haveanicedayokaybye.” Yuuri turned on the spot and sped off, leaving a gorgeous, albeit slightly confused, Victor in his dust.

 

\---

 

“Guang-Hong… What do I do?”

 

“Why are you asking _me_? I still can't talk to a cute _boy_ , where you went up to a hot man, and he smiled at you.”

 

“AHA!” Phichit skidded in between the two, throwing snow all over Yuuri’s skates. “You do think Leo is cute! This has to be the best day ever!” He turned to Yuuri and grasped his shoulders and stared directly into his eyes. “Now you just need to fall into a deep sleep so your gorgeous ice king can kiss you awake.”

 

Yuuri wiggled out of his friend’s grip, stepping further away from the ice as he did, “What the hell Phichit? You're making me sound like Georgi’s latest attempt at an Artistic program.”

 

The Thai ice guard stared at him, a blank expression on his face. “Dude, you do know I have no idea what that means. It's honestly a miracle that I got this job with my skating abilities.”

 

“Or you know… lack of.” Leo interjected as he skated up. Phichit whipped around to face the cheery American.

 

“What the hell? How did you even hear that?” He made a show of edging away from Leo, shuddering, “Creepy Americans I swear…” Yuuri looked on at his friend’s antics, realizing that because of Phichit, Leo was now standing next to Guang-Hong, who didn't seem to be breathing much, if at all.

 

“Uh,” the Japanese skater began, “We… Don't actually do much aside from stroking in circles… And you used to figure skate, you told me that!”

 

“Yeah learn to skate and all that jazz,” Phichit smirked at Guang-Hong’s now beet-red face and Leo’s obliviousness, “and I passed Basic 8 with flying colors I will have you know.”

 

“I didn't know that Thailand has Basic Skills classes in their figure skating program.”

 

“They don't… They might… I don't actually know.” Phichit shrugged, gesturing wildly and almost bashing Guang-Hong in the back of the head, causing him to jump backwards, “I took the learn to skate classes while we were at school in Detroit.”

 

“Phichit… That wasn't even two years ago.” Yuuri could feel the exasperation rolling off himself in waves.

 

“I was the oldest in my class.”

 

Yuuri gaped at his best friend in shock for a long moment, before groaning and burying his head in his hands, “As interesting as your skating abilities are, I'm still at square one and I don't know what to do!”

 

“Well we haven't asked Leo yet,” Yuuri peeked between his fingers to see Phichit waggling his eyebrows at the still oblivious American, and Guang-Hong sucking in a sharp breath between his teeth.

 

“Leo, what would you do if someone hot showed up where you work and you think they _might have_ been flirting with you… Or as a person who doesn't work here, how would you act if someone here was in love with you and if you liked them how would you prefer they go about confessing their love?”

 

There was a moment of silence before Yuuri and Guang-Hong began spluttering uncontrollably, the Chinese teenager’s reaction escaping the others’ notice due to Yuuri slugging Phichit halfheartedly in the arm and Leo trying to process everything the older boy said.

 

“That was… Oddly specific…” He eventually decided on, but hearing a wheeze from Guang-Hong he quickly turned to him, before being waved off with a slightly strained smile from the younger of the two.

 

“Uh… I guess I'd try to make him notice me?” He continued, seeing he had Yuuri and Phichit’s attention once again, “express my emotions through music or something, make a playlist or a mixtape…” Guang-Hong looked like he was about spontaneously combust, a bright red blush once again spreading from his cheeks to the rest of his face.

 

“Oh my god that's so cheesy…”

 

“Phichit, I don't hear _you_ giving Yuuri any advice about his Mr. Perfect or whatever-”

 

“Victor…” Yuuri sighed, a faint smile gracing his face as he blushed slightly, “his name is Victor.” Just saying his name brought visions of silver and blue dancing across his vision as he remembered the beautiful man from earlier.

 

“... You just _sighed_ while saying his name, you're fucked dude.”

 

 

 

 


	5. Jealous (Kidz Bop Version)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Phichit is the protagonist of every teen movie and Yuuri gets straight up killed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> based off true events, much more romance here than irl 
> 
> Thank you all for the kudos, comments, and bookmarks!! I never imagined that people would actually read this!! <3

Yuuri stood over his best friend, who was currently sprawled, eagle spread in the middle of the ice. It was an hour or so after the Saturday night public session, and there was no adult hockey that night, so the two of them were standing in the middle of the darkened sheet of ice. Neither of them were wearing their skates, and it was dead silent without the echoing screams of children and the repetitive pop music blaring through the speakers above their heads.

  
“I'm serious, the darkness, the emptiness of such a big room, the silence, it makes me feel like we’re the quirky protagonists of an indie movie, who sneak into a closed building and be stupid and spin around while a Mumford and Sons song plays.”

  
“Phichit that was ridiculously specific…”

  
“Shut up I'm musing,” a glare was fixed up at him before disappearing as Yuuri’s tan friend closed his eyes and composed his expression, “then the main character, which would be me, would be lying down staring up at the ceiling in silence before having a heartfelt conversation that would either contain the movie title, the tag line, or the most popular quote from the novel it was adapted from.”

 

There was a moment of silence, during which Yuuri crouched down on the ice behind his friend’s head, before gently easing himself into a sitting position on the cold ice, making sure he didn't accidentally kick Phichit in the head.

 

 

 

  
“... Hey Yuuri, do you ever feel… small?”

 

  
“What the fuck Phichit…”

 

Phichit’s eyes snapped open to send another glare in Yuuri’s direction, “you are destroying this coming of age teen novel, tween girls are crying in their beds right now, sobbing over the dull best friend of the main character who keeps _ruining the moment.”_

  
Yuuri gave a groan and flopped onto his back, ignoring the chill of the ice through his sweater. After a moment of silence he had to admit, this was a kind of surreal moment. That unnatural feeling you get when you walk into a Target, or are alone in an empty parking lot at night, Yuuri could feel it seeping into his bones along with the coldness of the ice. Suppressing a shiver, he turned his gaze to the ceiling, staring at the metal beams of the ceiling and the slight fluttering of the insulation as the air conditioners rumbled softly from behind the far wall.

  
“You two clocked out right?” A faintly accented voice broke the peaceful silence. Craning his neck, and seeing Phichit do the same in his peripherals, he saw Christophe standing at the midline boards door, a cup of something in his right hand as he leaned in the doorway.

  
“I did, it's Yuuri’s turn to stay late, and it's nice to see you show up for work… After our shift ended.”

  
Chris just smirked and took a sip of his drink, making an obscene noise that would have made Guang-Hong cover his ears and turn a shade of red that would rival their Ice Guard Jackets. As he wasn't here, it just made the two of them uncomfortable as he sucked down more of his drink.

  
“Did everyone else leave?” Phichit continued, trying to keep Chris from continuing his foray into the intro of every porno ever. With one last over exaggerated slurp and a frankly ridiculous sounding moan, he opened his eyes and looked at his two coworkers.

  
“Mhmm, she and Takeshi went to pick up the triplets from her mother’s.” He paused a moment, taking in the sight of the two of them lying prone on the ice. “So Yuuri, why didn't you come to _me_ for advice on this new boy of yours?”

  
Yuuri turned onto his side and screamed into his scarf before pressing a burning cheek against the ice. “How did you know about that?”

  
“I may not have worked the first shift, but I was... 'working' tonight, and Yuuko was kind enough to tell me,” he tossed the empty styrofoam cup off behind him and turned back to the two of them, “so, what's his name _Yuuri_?” Chris' way of saying his name, drawing out the u's with his slightly accented voice, sort of reminded him of how Victor had said it, only a little bit though. Because where Victor's voice caressing the vowels in his name had made him feel all warm and tingly inside, Chris' made him want to dunk himself in bleach.

  
“I didn't see you at all, I'm calling bullshit.”

  
“Call it whatever you want, it doesn't change the fact that I got paid for one of my shifts today.” He leveled a look at them, “now, who was this Mr. Perfect?”

  
Yuuri rolled his eyes as far back into his skull as humanly possible, “His name is Victor, he's Russian, unattainable, and the man of my dreams.”

  
A decidedly unattractive choking noise reached his ears and he opened his eyes to see Chris rapidly tapping away at his phone, eyes gleaming, “You okay Chris?”

  
“Just fine, a friend of mine wanted to know the ice schedule.” He made a show of looking at his bare wrist before giving a gasp so fake it could have been a main character in Mean Girls.

  
“Oh my look at the time, I have to go meet up with Isabella, we’re getting drinks,” With a flighty wave he sauntered down the dark hallway, “See you next week!”

  
“Yeah,” Yuuri grumbled, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes, “see you.”

  
“How is it that he seems to spend more time with her, then she does with her fiancée, like I get that he's her man of honor but there is a limit on how much you can plan a wedding if you're not the happy couple.” Phichit shook his head and, pushing himself off of his knees, slowly got up from the cold ice.

  
“Have you ever been to a wedding? He seems to have taken over the mother of the bride position _and_ the maid… man… whatever… of honor duties.” Yuuri’s eyes followed his friend as he slowly got to his feet, brushing his hair out of his eyes before extending a hand to him to help him off the ice.

  
Grasping on to the offered hand, Yuuri stood up with a quiet grunt and steadied himself before his sneakers could slip on the ice.

  
“Thanks.”

  
A sunny smile spread across Phichit’s tan face. “What are friends for?”

 

 

  
\---

 

 

  
Having waved goodbye to Phichit and locked the side doors, Yuuri was alone for the rest of the night in the empty arena. The supervisors used to be the only ones who stayed late, but because of their family obligations ( _Yuuko and Takeshi have triplets... TRIPLETS!)_ any employee who was older than 20 was allowed to take shifts staying late. Usually nothing happened, and if anything did it was another employee rushing back in because they forgot to clock out or they left something behind. He was turning off the lights in the office when he suddenly heard the front doors slide open. _What the… Did someone forget something?_

  
Yuuri made his way through the darkened building, shadows making everything that much more creepy. He turned to corner to the lobby when something dark and fast hit him hard in the stomach, and he flew backwards, going down like a sack of bricks.

  
His attacker’s warm cloying breath blew into his face and he coughed lightly, it smelled like… dog breath? Yuuri opened his eyes for what had to be the millionth time that day, to be greeted by beady black eyes surrounded by light brown curly fur and the tip of a pink tongue peeking out from beneath a shiny black nose.

  
“D-dog?” Stuttering he tried so sit up, only to have the fluffy creature bounce his front paws right into his gut. Gagging and gasping, he rolled onto his side, dislodging his- no, the dog from his painful perch on his stomach. Seeing his new friend was playing with him the dog decides to smother Yuuri’s face in licks, knocking off his glasses and causing him to swat lightly at the dog while laughing uncontrollably.

  
“Ooh, sorry about Makka, he gets excited when he meets new people!” An accented voice caused the new dog, that looks uncannily like his own did before it passed away, to cease its slobbery attack on Yuuri’s face and bound over out of his line of vision. Yuuri tried to catch his breath, wiping his face on his sleeve before sitting up and groping around until his fingers closed around the cool plastic. Wiping them quickly on his jeans, he returned the smudgy lenses to his face only to see the ho- Victor leaning over him with a small smile on his apologetic face.

  
“Oh- hello!” Yuuri scrambled to his feet quickly, causing Victor to jerk his head back in fear of smacking into him. “Sorry, stood up too fast!” _Keep it together Katsuki!_

  
“I should be the one apologizing, I was told there was ice time this late, but apparently I was mistaken,” he threw a small glare at the phone in his hand before shoving it into his jacket pocket, “and I should have had Makkachin on a leash!” The silver haired man’s eyes crinkled when he smiled, and Yuuri died a little bit inside.

  
What were the odds that he could see this guy twice in one day? Especially since their first encounter didn't go the best, it was like the powers that be were giving him a second chance! Not a very good second chance, but one nonetheless...

  
“Well, yeah. Technically the building is closed to the public at 11:30,” a glance to the clock on the wall revealed it to be 11:10, “Sometimes, during the week adult hockey will buy the ice until about one in the morning, but that doesn't start for about a month or so.” Yuuri could feel his cheeks burning as Victor fixed his gaze back on him. Looking away from the crystal blue eyes he tugged absently at his sweater, ignoring Victor’s dog- Makkachin, pawing lightly at his shoes.

  
After a moment of silence Victor spoke up, “The ice isn't being used right now, no one has bought it?” Yuuri forced his eyes back up to Victor staring at the doors to the ice, a hand on his chin and a pensive look on his face.

  
“Uh, yeah, nothing is scheduled until tomorrow at eight, that's when stick time starts.” Yuuri took a small step backwards, he hadn't realized Victor was standing so close to him and it was making him more than slightly anxious to have him, albeit accidentally, invading his personal space.

  
“You stay here until eight?” Victor's voice was soft, and his lilting voice make Yuuri rush to answer him.

  
“Oh! No, no I'm here until 12:45.”

  
“Excellent!” The change in tone threw Yuuri off completely. Blinking in confusion he saw Victor, _his smile is heart shaped how adorable_ , grinning at him in excitement. He grabbed Yuuri's hands,  _he grabbed my hands ohmygod we're holding hands_ , as he almost vibrated with his unbridled glee, “I'm buying the ice until 12:45, will that be okay,  _Yuuri_?”

  
_Yes! Yes! YES!_

  
“Huh? Sure…”

  
_What have I done?_


	6. Blank Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Yuuri dies and goes to heaven and Victor is there to greet him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No excuses, i just was procrastinating. 
> 
> Also in this strange skating universe, everything works like U.S. Figure Skating test Levels, because I can't find shit about tests anywhere outside of USFSA anywhere. I asked my coach and she was like "hmmm, I don't know actually, thats an interesting topic though, it would be something to look into." and I was like 'thats what i asked you for istg'  
> Thank you to everyone who reviewed, gave kudos, and bookmarked this!! I can't believe this romantic au of my old job is getting attention! :D
> 
>  
> 
> _hmu on[tumblr](http://hermajestytheempressariana.tumblr.com/) if you wanna_

 

_Am, am I dreaming?_

 

Yuuri was leaning against the boards inside the hockey box, Makkachin sitting on the bench behind him, and a portable speaker jerry-rigged to an orange cone sitting on the wall next to him. The cone was battered from whatever the hell the hockey teams used it for, but it was holding together well enough for its current use, amplifying Victor’s music so it was just the tiniest bit louder.

 

The slightly tinny edge the speakers gave to the music escaped Yuuri’s notice as he watched the man in front of him skate. Victor had already ditched his sweatshirt and gloves, leaving them in a pile as he danced across the empty ice, his pale skin and hair making him appear ghostlike in the darkness of the rink.

 

 

Yuuri was so enthralled by Victor’s skating that he completely missed the skater finishing his warmup and was jolted back into reality when Victor appeared on the other side of the boards, directly in front of him with a small grateful smile on his face.

 

“Thank you again for this Yuuri, I’m not used to having to look out for people when I skate.” Leaning in closer to Yuuri he placed both hands on the wall and started his dynamic warm up, beginning with hip swings.

 

“Ah…” Yuuri leaned backwards and backed up to sit down on the hardplastic bench next to Makkachin. “It’s no problem really, I’ll text Yuuko about it tomorrow… “ a quick glance at his watch made him hasten to correct himself, “well, today actually I guess. She and her husband run the rink actually, they are the facility managers. Yuuko always loved being an ice guard, so she took a position as our direct supervisor as well when it opened up.”

 

Yuuri pressed his lips together, aware of how much he was rambling like an idiot. It was just like him to be alone with an attractive person, _not that it had ever happened before,_ and not know how to interact with them. He looked up at Victor as the silver haired man continued with his warmup, beginning to do leg swings while maintaining his grip on the wall.

 

Yuuri adjusted his glasses before seeking out Victor’s blue-green gaze, “Did… did you do figures?”

 

Victor’s leg came to a slow peak, before he lowered it gently to the ice, tilting his head slightly, a funny look on his face as he straightened up and looked at the Japanese man. “I did yes, Yakov insisted upon it, he was positive that they would be making a comeback," he rolled his eyes and scoffed softly, "like that ended up happening, I guess you used to skate then?” Slightly surprised at his question, Yuuri could only nod slowly.

 

“That makes sense, nobody outside of skating knows what figures are,” with a slight huff that somehow made him look regal instead of annoyed, Victor continued a tinge of exasperation coloring his voice, “most _new skaters_ these days don’t know what figures are.”

 

A sharp blast of music from the speaker/cone made the both of them wince, and Victor quickly snatched up his phone and paused it, leaving them shrouded in silence.

 

Yuuri rolled his ankles inside his skates, feeling the stiffness of the leather. When Victor had invited him to come out and skate with him on his private session, Yuuri had grabbed his good skates from his bag in the locker room. These weren’t the skates he wore while working, those were his old pair. A size too small and too broken down to do anything more than a waltz jump in without fearing for his life.

 

Though he had had them for almost a year now, he only got to wear these new skates once or twice a week to practice in, _if_ he was lucky.

 

“Yuuri?” he was snapped out of his daze once again by the handsome Russian man of his dreams. Victor was standing in the doorway of the box, his right toepick tapping lightly on the ice as he stared at Yuuri. As Yuuri desperately tried to think of an answer to a question he didn’t hear, Victor leaned farther into the box toward- _oh thank god,_ toward his brown furred companion. Makkachin lifted his head from where he had gone back to sleep and blinked wearily, wagging his tail slowly as his owner gave him a gentle pat on the head, before moving to scratch behind the ears.

 

Standing back upright after petting his adorable pooch, Victor turned to look at Yuuri. Resisting the urge to swallow nervously, Yuuri met his gorgeous blue gaze. _Oh come on! You went a good 10 minutes without fantasizing about the man, now get a grip Katsuki!_

“Victor….”

 

"Yes, _Yuuri?”_

 

“I- I, I wasn’t paying attention, what was it you asked me?”

 

Yuuri could guess that his expression mirrored Victor’s own almost exactly. Frozen in confusion while blinking rapidly in surprise, an expression that was hiding a mind that had just had the entirety of its contents successfully thrown out the nearest window.

 

“I… You skated?” Victor recovered quickly from his shock, “What did you, I mean what levels? How far are you?”

 

“Oh.” _Good thing it wasn’t something important like, ‘Marry me Yuuri?’ Idiot._

 

“I got my gold medal in moves and dance, I uh, I was working on my International Dances, my Solo Free Dance, and my Senior Freeskate, but I…” Yuuri trailed off, twisting his sweater in his hands. “I just couldn’t keep going, so I-“

 

“So you never finished your tests…” Yuuri nodded at Victor as he correctly guessed the ending to the explanation he gave up on finishing. _Just like you gave up on finishing those tests though._

 

“Hmm, interesting.” Out of nowhere, long pale fingers pulled Yurri’s fingers from where they were wrapped up in the knit of his sweater, grabbed his wrists, and yanked him to his feet.

 

“Wha- Oof!“ Yuuri’s words were lost in his throat as Victor shifted his grip to his forearms and lifted him, _oh my gosh he’s so strong,_ up and carried him out of the box, standing him up on the ice in front of him.

 

“What are you-“ He immediately fell silent when one of those pale, almost delicate looking fingers, was gently but firmly placed to his slightly chapped lips. Yuuri felt like his stomach dropped 40 floors and his face was about to burst into flames as Victor softly brushed his finger over Yuuri’s frozen lips.  

 

 _He’s so close, he’s touching me! His hand is so warm, and soft. Oh.  Ohohoh… **shit**._ With a strangled shriek, Yuuri pushed away from Victor’s overwhelming nearness, needing to get some distance from the ridiculously attractive man. He stumbled backwards, only to lose his balance and slip off the back of his blades, landing on his ass and slamming his back against the wall with a pained groan.

 

“Yuuri, starting today, I’m going to be your coach! I’m going to get you to test your last gold medal, and you’re going to pass!” Victor flicked his silver hair out of his crystal blue eyes and turned so he was completely facing Yuuri’s crumpled form, before smiling and giving him a flirtatious wink.

 

“WHAT???”

 

-_-_-

 

If you were concerned with the passage of time, you might say that about hour later found Yuuri bursting into Phichit’s bedroom, grabbing his comatose friend and frantically shaking him awake.

 

“Phichit! Phichit I need you to wake up! You need to wake up _right now!_ ”

 

A mop of mussed black hair and bleary brown eyes emerged from the depths of the blankets. With an irritated groan and an annoyed look, Yuuri’s roommate swatted at his attacker and grumbled angrily.

 

“I don’t know what you said and I’m sorry for waking you up, but I may have done a thing, and I need you to help me stalk the Hot Ice Arena Guy Victor!” In a flash the blankets were hurled to the end of the bed and Phichit was sitting up, with his eyes still closed, but sitting up with a smirk on his face nonetheless.

 

“Bro,” His voice was raspy with sleep and he shoved the heels of his hands into his eyes, rubbing furiously, “why didn’t you text me earlier?” Without waiting from a response from his panicked Japanese friend, he patted the mattress around him, snagging his phone from where it was shoved under his pillow.

 

“Oh,” Phichit squinted at his lock screen, seeing the notifications listed, “I guess you did? Sorry, I guess.”

 

“Just, can you find him on Twitter or Facebook or something?”

 

Ignoring Yuuri, Phichit began to read some of the messages out loud, “ _Feet. Can u find hot guy on fb._ ” A sleepy glare was leveled at Yuuri as he nervously wrung his hands. “I’d be offended if I was awake enough to care.”

 

With a strangled yawn Phichit grabbed his laptop from his nightstand, gesturing for Yuuri to hop onto the bed beside him. “C’mon loverboy, I probably would be doing this in the _daytime_ anyway, so would you  kindly explain to me why I’m doing this so goddamn early, while I try to wake up.” Yuuri climbed onto the bed and grabbed one of the discarded blankets, wrapping it tightly around his head and shoulders until he looked like the younger brother from A Christmas Story. Safe and warm in his makeshift cocoon of anxiety protection, Yuuri began to tell Phichit what had happened after his friend left the arena a few hours ago.


	7. All About That Bass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Phichit is the best friend that anyone could have and Yuuri dies again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is so short! It was supposed to be combined with the last chapter but I wasn't finished with this bit and I felt guilty about not updating in a while so here it is! Next chapter should definitely be longer, like its at least double this one already :)
> 
> feel free to bother me on tumblr: hermajestytheempressariana
> 
> thanks for reading!!!

"This would be a lot easier if you knew his last name."

 

Phichit was, as Yuuri had thought to himself earlier, the best friend he could ever ask for. He had sat, enthralled, as Yuuri told him what had happened when Victor showed up at the arena, making little gasps and 'awws' at the exact moments Yuuri felt his courage to continue talking dwindling. 

 

Now that Yuuri had finished telling Phichit what happened, they were crunching on tortilla chips and guacamole while bent over Phichit's laptop. A laptop that was currently open to the google homepage with, " _Victor Viktor Russia Skating_ " entered in the search bar, the cursor taunting them with each blink. The page had been sitting there for a good couple minutes, with Yuuri too nervous to actually start the search. 

 

Brushing Yuuri's frozen fingers away from where they hovered above the enter key, Phichit sealed Yuuri's fate. or at least that was the plan.

 

"This is a clusterfuck." Dark eyebrows knitting together in frustration, Phichit scrolled down through the search results, his lips pursing as he scanned the various links.

 

"Well, "Phichit rolled his neck from side to side, cracking it loudly  before continuing, "it looks like every Russian figure skater, speed skater, and hockey player is named Victor, Viktor, Vitor, Vitka, or some other obscure spelling of it."

 

Reaching over his friend to scroll back to the top of the page, Yuuri added 'silver' to the search. "His hair is pretty distinctive."

 

"That's just going to give us silver medalists named Victor." Phichit protested with a sigh. He was right. 

 

"Category:Olympic silver medalists for Russia." Yuuri read the top result dejectedly, before pushing the laptop back onto Phichit's lap and pulling his knees up to his chest.

 

"You used to figure skate, like hardcore figure skate, if he was anyone of importance you'd know who he was right?" Yuuri just hugged his legs closer and perched his chin on his knees.

 

"When I stopped skating I kinda..." Yuuri turned away from Phichit's gently imploring expression and fixed his eyes on the frost that was slowly spreading out from the corner of the window. "I might have stopped following figure skating all together." 

 

"I would watch all the other skaters progress and finish up their tests and it would hurt to see them so happy, so I just stopped training, and stopped keeping up with what was going on." Yuuri thought back to that time in his life. His anxiety wouldn't let him pass those last tests, he could do everything perfectly in practice, but as soon as the judges panel was at the edge of the ice, he couldn't function. He flubbed his jumps, popping them or not sticking the landing.

 

It held him back in testing, but Celestino, who was his coach back then, was wonderful enough to work with him beyond that, " _You can do the elements, you just can't test them."_ was what the pony tailed man had said, before he dragged him over to the harness and announced they were going to be starting on his triple Sal.

 

"Hey Yuuri," a slight tug on his sleeve dragged his attention to where Phichit was pointing at the screen. "Doesn't that look a little bit like him?"

 

Phichit had opened what seemed to be six or seven new tabs while Yuuri had zoned out. his current search was for 'figure skating club competitions in Russia 1990-2000.' The enlarged picture he was directing Yuuri's attention to, although it was slightly blurry, showed three young boys who were maybe ten or eleven, standing on a podium at what was probably a local competition. The one Phichit was pointing at however, had almost shoulder length silver hair and a familiar almost heart shaped smile.

 

"It... really does!" Yuuri said incredulously, unfolding his legs and leaning closer. "Where is that picture from?"

 

"Pintrest unfortunately, all the tags are unhelpful things like 'friendship goals' or 'figure skating' and don't have any names attached." When Yuuri inadvertently let out a small sigh of disappointment, Phichit flashed him a hopeful smile. "Lucky for you I know how to do basic internet things, like a reverse image search."

 

"That's a thing you can do?"

 

Phichit gave him a  _look._ "How are we friends again?"

 

"Shut up." Yuuri gave him a gentle shove and turned back to the picture on the screen, scrunching up his nose at the niggling feeling at the back of his mind. There was something Victor had said, but he just couldn't remember the _name_.

 

"Yakov" The name flew from his lips before his mind could finish processing it.

 

"What?" Phichit looked up from the computer on his lap and quirked an eyebrow at his Japanese friend.

 

"His coach, he mentioned him being named Yakov." Comprehension entered Phichit's gaze as Yuuri continued, "There has to be some result for figure skating coaches named Yakov in Russia, and since there are less coaches than skaters..."

 

"I'll start a new search for him." With a grin Phichit quickly opened a new tab and began typing. Yuuri watched as the words, ' _Yakov figure skating coach Russia Victor'_ lingered in the search bar for a moment before a pinky stroke to the enter key brought up search results, search results in _Russian_. Thankfully, Google quickly translated those results, only for the two of them to freeze at what they saw.

 

 " _Victor Nikiforov_ \- Wikipedia"

" _Figure Skater Viktor Nikiforov wins Trophee de France -_ Russia Beyond _"_

_"Victor Nikiforov is dominating figure skating and just getting started"_

_"Figure Skating Icon Victor Nikiforov on his Olympic Legacy"_

 

 

' _N_ _o, no no nononono-'_

 

"Oh. My. God." Phichit's whisper barely reached Yuuri's ears, but it was enough to stop his mind's self destruct sequence from hitting zero. His hands shook as he moused over the first link, a Wikipedia page. Clicking on it, he could feel the blood drain from his face as the page finished loading. There he was, in all his gorgeous silver haired glory, holding a gold medal and grinning right at him. He couldn't rip his eyes from the photo even as Phichit cleared his throat and began to read the page aloud in a trembling voice. 

 

"Victor Nikiforov is a Russian figure skater. He is a four time Olympic Medalist..." Yuuri's eyes flicked over the image description, ' _Victor Nikiforov at the 2016 Figure Skating World Championships.'_ This couldn't be happening...

 

 "... a five time World Champion, a five-time Grand Prix Final champion, and a ten-time Russian national champion." Phichit stopped abruptly, before turning to meet Yuuri's shocked gaze. "Dude, what is this?"

 

"I... I can't believe this." He stuttered over his words, trying and failing to convey the emotions that sprung to life within him at the thought that somebody this... this  _incredible,_ had skated for him, had _flirted_ with him, had declared himself Yuuri's coach! He had only seen Yuuri skating around at work, in old broken down skates! And that is what made him determined to get Yuuri skating again?  _No way, no way no way._

 

"This cant be happening, right?" He felt tears welling up in his eyes as Phichit slowly pulled him into a hug, "I don't know what's going on, what do I do?"

 

 

_-_-_

 

 

3:37 am

phichit+chu: wot did u do

assman: ???

phichit+chu: you did somethin

phichit+chu: i know u did

assman: Its 3:30 in the morning.

assman: what could i be doing at 3:30 in the morning?

phichit+chu: the guy from the ice arean

phichit+chu: u knew him

assman: No I'm not.

assman: Yuuri called dibs on him, I can respect that, unless they're down for me joining them.

assman: Oh I didn't see those, yeah I know Victor

phichit+chu: u idsgust me

assman: Gesundheit

 

 

"Yeah this is all Chris' fault." Phichit tossed his phone to the floor and watched as the screen lit up again. "Its a crisis, a Chris crisis, a chrisis." A muffled scream made him stop his halfhearted musing and turn his attention to his best friend, a best friend who had migrated to the far corner of his bed and had made himself a cocoon of blankets. Well, Phichit assumed he was in there, as there was no sign of life coming from the lump, nor any of Yuuri's appendages sticking out from underneath it. 

 

"Oh Yuuri," Phichit smiled softly and leaned over to snag his laptop, allowing a moment of hesitation before clicking to follow _@v-nikiforov_ on twitter.

 

 


	8. Rotten to the Core

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri is exhausted and needs to sleep, and someone shows up??? Who is it??? *eyebrow wiggle* hmmmm???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, I've had to rewrite this chapter a ridiculous amount of times, and I'm still not happy with it. That's why I'm up at 3 am and posting it without letting my bestie beta read it. Also bc she asked me like two weeks ago at practice how it was going and I just made a 'ughhhhhrrrkkkkk' noise. 
> 
> And I've been sick, but who gives a fuck. more gay figure skating amiright??
> 
> Also watch the programs from US nationals, we may be a dumpster fire, but at least we have Karen and Nathan Chen (no relation)

Most people believe that there is only a certain amount of time you can avoid certain things. The thing in question can vary, from homework, to responsibilities, or conflict. In the case of Yuuri Katsuki, one can go a good 3 days without leaving their home to avoid the tiniest chance that if he exited his bedroom, a silver haired dreamboat would be waiting right outside the door.

  
Logically, there was no way in hell that said dreamboat would have somehow found his address, entered his apartment, and be waiting outside of his bedroom. But Yuuri was not thinking logically, he wasn't thinking at all. He was actually doing his best to avoid thinking, to avoid _thinking_ about thinking, because if he let his mind wander, he would end up hunched over his laptop and binge watching every single video of Victor Nikiforov he could get his hands on.

  
Then, because he would convince himself that his weekend was either, 1. A dream, or 2. Not a big deal, he would be motivated to get up and take a shower, which would cause Victor to pop into existence outside the moment he turned the doorknob .

  
“It's Schrödinger's skater….” He mumbled to himself, rolling in his blankets tighter around his prone form. Victor was the cat, ‘ _despite being a dog person_ ,’ Phichit would be the factor that could let him into the apartment or keep him out, and Yuuri was the terrified person waiting to see if they've been doomed or not.

  
‘ _I'm a hot mess_.’ Yuuri curled into a tighter ball, ignoring the chill of the room in favor of snuggling further into his cozy nest of blankets.

 

  
_-_-_

 

 

“Yuuri, it's been years! How've you been!” A dry look was leveled across the tiny kitchen at the figure standing in front of the stove. Phichit was comically gaping at him, dramatically holding a hand to his mouth as if to hold in a gasp, and conveniently ignoring the beeping waffle maker on the counter.

  
As the rational side of his mind had expected, it was only the two of them in the apartment. It still didn't stop him from scanning the living room with furtive eyes as he slumped through it, _unless Victor was hiding in the bathroom, or the closet, or Phichit’s room._

  
Wearing a soft blanket depicting two poodles sitting in the grass under a blue sky like a cape, light brown moccasins, and 3 days of self loathing and bed head, Yuuri was probably a sight. Not a good sight either, but he hadn't come out of his room to be greeted with this reaction. He had expected it, but wouldn't accept it.

  
With a sigh, he slunk into the kitchen, dragging his cloak of shame with him, before sitting down on the floor and leaning up against their kitchen cabinets. Phichit immediately abandoned his act, flipping the waffle iron before quickly dropping down across from him, concern prominent in his dark eyes.

  
“I know you're not okay, so do you want anything to eat?” A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips, earning a relieved smile from Phichit.

  
“You don't know how to make katsudon, so I think I'll pass for now, but thanks.” He seemed to expect for Yuuri to say something along those lines, because he grabbed the edge of the counter and pulled himself up, then extended a hand down for Yuuri.

  
“I know, but your mom can, which is why I called her to say you weren't feeling well and you're going to come over and stay for a day or two.” Phichit winked at the sight of the shock shown on his face, “She didn't say she would make it, but she started cooking halfway through the call, so your chances are good.”

  
Grabbing onto his tan hand, Yuuri let him gently pull him off the cool linoleum. “Th- thanks… I- Just thanks.”

  
“It just means more waffles for me, my dude.” Phichit shrugging off his heartfelt and sincere thanks was something Yuuri was used to, but he wasn't about to stop thanking him, and he never would.

 

_-_-_

 

 

assman: you want what??  
phichit+chu: u heard me I gotta fix this and I need to be able to contact him bc he's not acknowledging my messages on twitter  
assman: Okay fine, but keep me updated.  
phichit+chu: whatever just give it

 

 

_-_-_ 

 

 

The rest of Yuuri’s week passed with a spectacular amount of avoidance and lots of him pretending that he was fine. And he was, to a certain extent. After taking a long soak in his parent’s hot springs and clearing any mention of a certain silver haired dreamboat from his YouTube history, Yuuri was well on his way to pretending that that interaction was a weird once in a lifetime fluke that was never meant to happen, and he would never see any sign of Victor Nikiforov again for the rest of his life.

  
He most certainly did not curl up in his childhood bedroom and watch old skating videos he and Yuuko had made at their old competitions. It's not like those videos even _existed_ , no matter what anyone said, because they didn't. And if they did, he wouldn't have spent a half hour in his room laughing over the horrible camera angles in them, until he started sobbing uncontrollably because he was avoiding the situation he was in.

  
Obviously, because this whole situation is hypothetical.

 

He did however, get to spend time with his mom and dad, and marathon Disney movies with his sister. He usually saw them almost every day anyway, but it was almost cathartic to be fully submerged in the bustling and loving environment he grew up in once again.

  
Unfortunately, it was now Friday night, and the young man was currently slumped in a swivel chair, staring dejectedly at a brown watermark on the white ceiling. He had gotten to work early, the trip being shorter from his parents house than from he and Phichit’s apartment, and was waiting in the office with Minako until it was time to clock in. Unbeknownst to him, his exhausted form had caught the attention of the brown haired woman who worked in the office.

  
“So, you look bad.” He tore his eyes from one particularly interesting looking stain to see her twirling a pen between her delicate fingers, an expectant and knowing look on her face. “Rough week?”

  
“Ehhhhh…” He trailed off before even starting to explain, and how does one explain that less than a week ago they- well if he could explain it in his head he could say it aloud and no way is that happening. “Sorta.”

 

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, the occasional loud laughter from hockey dads, waiting for their kids to be done with practice reaching them from across the lobby. There was almost an hour before he had to clock in, and then another half hour before the skating session started, so the high school hockey teams were the only people there.

  
“Hey.” Jumping slightly at the angry sounding greeting, Yuuri turned to look at the cashier window. He was slightly taken aback to see a teenage boy wearing a hoodie scowling in at him. The boy continued before Minako could even open her mouth, “Isn't there skating tonight?”

  
Minako plastered on the sunny customer service smile, and rattled off what sounded like a highly practiced spiel, “Yes we do have a public session tonight from 8:30 to 10:30. If you are looking to pay for the skating session, we don't allow people to pay until a half hour before it begins, sorry!”

  
Yuuri had stopped listening to his old dance teacher and was trying not to stare at the angry teenage boy who was glaring at him. His young face was set in a shadow, making his scowl appear more menacing than it had any business being, and blonde strands of hair were peeking out of the edges of his hood.

  
“Kay.” With a final look, the kid turned and stalked toward the vending machines and out of sight.

  
“Oh my god that was intense.” Yuuri took a deep breath and let his muscles relax, having unknowingly tensed then while being stared down by a little kid.

  
“Yeah, what'd you ever do to him, kill his cat?” Pressing a hand to his chest to still his terrified heartbeat, he turned back to face an unnerved Minako.

  
“I sure hope not.”

 

 

_-_-_

 

 

“How was your week Yuuri?” Mila was sprawled in satan’s chair when he got into skate rental. They still had about 45 minutes before they were supposed to clock in, so seeing another guard was a little surprising.

  
“Could have been worse I guess, how about you?” The redhead shrugged as he sat down on the bottom edge of his cubby, his knees pulled up to his chest.

  
“My cousin came to visit, then this morning his younger brother showed up looking for him, and when I left the house he still hadn't seen him, and was leaving him angry screaming voicemails.”

  
“That's… Different?” His offered words earned him a grin and an eye roll.

  
“That's just a nice way of saying ‘absolutely fucking ridiculous,’ but thanks.” Leaning against the side of his cubby, Yuuri scooted back until he was completely out of sight of anyone who wasn't sitting right around the opening and looking straight in at him. He set an alarm on his phone in case he actually fell asleep, because sleeping through your shift is stupid, but falling asleep before clocking in is even worse. Grabbing around the dark space, he found his guard jacket and shoved the balled up thing under his head and closed his eyes.

  
The time passed in peace, Yuuri resting his eyes and Mila scrolling silently through her phone. He heard Yuuko and Phichit’s voices after a while, and felt a small breeze from where they undoubtedly ducked under the counter to see if he was asleep.

  
A muffled giggle met his ears, and he heard the tape dispenser click from next to his head. He fluttered his eyelids, his blurry eyes seeing a hastily taped… Well, what looked like a newspaper clipping of Victor. He shifted to the other side of the square and sent a glare at the grinning face of his best friend. Ignoring Mila’s confused questioning and Phichit’s rambling evasion, he snuggled back into his jacket and pulled out his phone. _20 minutes to go, then three more hours._

 


	9. 7 Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Yuuri waxes poetically about trash, and gets some real advice

 

“Yuuri, that twelve year old has been glaring at you for the last half hour.” Looking up from the garbage bag in his hands, Yuuri shot a glance at the person in question, only to be met with the angsty blonde from the day before. The teen had come to the arena last night and earlier this afternoon, only for him to not skate at all, but just sit on the picnic tables and scowl in his general direction. With an exasperated sigh, he tossed the garbage bag into the giant bin.

  
“Phichit, that kid isn’t 12.” Phichit gave him an unimpressed look as he dodged the bag and ripped off a new one.

  
“Yuuri, if they are younger than me, they’re twelve, if not twelve, four.” Yuuri flapped the new garbage bag as Phichit continued, “Any younger than four then they’re automatically a fetus, simple.”

  
One usually doesn't think trash is the best job,but _everyone_ wanted to do trash. Maybe it was for the ‘takin out the trash’ jokes, or the almost daily rendition of, ‘let me go join my family,’ dramatically spoken as one halfheartedly mimes climbing in the dumpster. Screaming and jumping back as a leaking bag with a mysterious brown substance flies through the air on its way to its disgusting grave is a hazard, but if you have fast enough reflexes, or are smart enough to DOUBLE BAG IF IT LEAKS WHILE YOU'RE CHANGING IT, one can usually get away with only their shoes splattered.

  
There's supposed to be an assignment checklist made up, but everyone either just plain ignored it, or tried to follow it and eventually end up swapped with each other. But when you did get stuck fighting over the sucky-ness of the vacuum cleaners or spraying the leftover children with the Chinese spray (don't ask why but everyone calls it that) as you try to clean dried Gatorade and instant ramen from the snack bar off of the picnic tables and benches, you always try for garbage. As previously mentioned, everyone wants garbage, but only with their ‘trash buddie’ is it actually enjoyable. Sparta kicking the doors to the rink open as your trash buddie furiously races to get the bin through before it closes was an added bonus. The looks on everyone’s faces when Phichit’s foot misses the push bar and slams off the glass is enough to give anyone a stress migraine.

 

  
_Why the fuck am I talking about trash?_

  
Ah yes, to avoid thinking about angry teenagers and silver haired dreamboats.

 

  
Anyway, Yuuri and Phichit headed for the exit, getting a grimace from Mila as they wheeled the literal trash heap over her clean carpets on their way out. Chris joined them at the doors, tossing his spray bottle and rag to the side as he held them open for them to squeeze through. The last of the public session kids were sitting on a picnic bench outside, waiting for their moms to pick them up from their ‘wild night.’

 

Yuuri knew exactly how their weekend had gone, the middle school girls probably rode the bus home with their friends, likely the most popular or with the most money, and stayed at their house that night. They all gave each other makeovers and picked out each other's cute outfits. Then they went to the rink Friday night, saw their crush from afar, decided to have so-and-so's mom take them tomorrow night, so they could spend two nights of their week staring across a cold surface packed with people at their current middle school crush that they planned this entire outing around, and then return home to take off their friends’ borrowed makeup and gush about how cute Zach looked not knowing they existed.

 

_But your crush knows you exist._  Yuuri clenched his eyes shut and shook the thought from his mind. _'He's not my crush, he's just a person who wants to help me improve my skating.'_

 

The three of them made their way to the back of the building, past the employee lot as the occasional headlight of a departing car flashed past them, casting long rotating shadows. As the bin rolled noisily over cracks and lumps in the pavement, Chris looked away from where he had been staring at the night sky and locked eyes with Yuuri.

  
“Yuuri, you've been ridiculous all weekend.”

  
Yuuri couldn't help the offended squawk from slipping past his lips as Phichit nodded in agreement from his other side.

  
“Um, what?” He couldn't think of a coherent response, and apparently neither could his mouth. “I'm, I had a rough week? But I'm better and I ate a salad today, so yeah.” Staring pointedly down at his sneakers, Yuuri tried to look at all the little cracks in the pavement and avoid the fact that he tried to justify depression with I ate a salad today- are you an IDIOT?

  
Even without seeing their expressions, he knew his internal voice probably matched their expressions.

  
“It's a guy, isn't it?” It's none of his business.

  
“Yeah…” Are you a fucking idiot? Don't overshare! “It’s that guy I yelled at last weekend, the silver haired dreamboat…”

  
“Oh Victor?”

  
“Yeah, he offered to be my coach for some rid-” Yuuri froze in his tracks, feeling a lump grow in his throat as he processed the conversation.

 

_  
“... the silver haired dreamboat…”_

_  
“Oh Victor?”_

 

 

“WAIT WHAT?” Yuuri bolted to catch up with the two of them, who had at this point, commandeered the bin and started hurling bags of trash into the dumpster. “How did, how could- I don't… what-”

 

“Yuuri, you need to confront him,” Chris continued on as Yuuri stared at him in shock and confusion, “he's been mopey ALL week and all his texts have been pathetic, and so is he, now you need to stop being pathetic apart, and be slightly less pathetic together.”

 

“Or they could be, hmmm twice as pathetic?” Phichit grunted out as the last bag arced over the rusted green metal. “I'm not saying you're pathetic, but you can't wallow in misery over a cute boy talking to you! That's like the complete opposite of what should be happening when a cute boy talks to you!”

 

"Hmm," Chris walked up to Yuuri, standing just the tiniest bit too close to the nervous wreck and a half of a young adult, "here's what you have to do-"

 

"Why did you even come out here?"

 

"Because, even though I am in a relationship and therefore would _never_ look at another man-"

 

"Hang on," Phichit interrupted, "you tried to seduce a deputy or something last week!"

 

"Mhmm, that's him and _I am talking._ " Phichit backed up, a slightly affronted look on his face as he halfheartedly gestured for the blonde man to continue invading Yuuri's personal space.

 

"Thank you, now, as I was saying, even though I am in a relationship and therefore would never look at another man-" A soft scoff came from Phichit's direction as Chris continued, "you are gorgeous and I hate to see beautiful people sad. So, if I cannot make you happy directly, then I will give you the opportunity for happiness, with this small piece of advice...

 

"Suck his dick."

 

"You're attracted to him, and you need to confront him, so pull him into the mop closet and suck his dick."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi? I'm sorry, I've been a mess and my dog died in February and I miss her and I have been trying to write this for forfuckingever and I feel guilty about when I get a kudos email and it's at the point that I actually had a dream about my dogs in the future asking me why I never finished this so I'm going to post this and I'm probably going to add more to this chapter later sorry okay love you all!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> What the hell am I doing?  
> Maddie I hope you read this, Alfy I hope you never find this.


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